Dad - Day 3

Well....here we are....Day 3 in the ICU.

Today has been a rough day.

On the way into the hospital around 11, I got a phone call from the doctor saying that dad had a rough start to the day. He had some more irregular heart beats and his pain was still really bad. They were concerned that this was a combination of his lung issues, as well as some cardiac issues. They consulted a cardiologist and she agreed that dad was experiencing some cardiac issues and most likely a small heart attack. Because of his risk factors and his current state, the decided to plan for a heart cath. Initially we were going to go thru with it for Monday, but after I started thinking about it, Dad is not going to be able to lay flat for the procedure and for 6 hours after. He has been sitting up in a chair position for the past few days. They had already started medically managing him, and have him on a nitroglycerin drip, so the cardiologist believes that we should wait a few days until his lung issues improve.

He is still getting his PCA pain medication and had gotten some medication in between for his heart related chest pain.

I made him a meatloaf, since he had been talking about it, and he took a few bites. He is eating some chicken and dumplings right now, and has ate more than I expected.

This afternoon he is really confused. He doesn't realize that he is in the hospital most of the time and keeps thinking that we are going out to dinner. He also keeps asking who is here when he hears the nurses at the desk.

In his clear moments, he has vowed that he will not smoke again and has said that he will do whatever the doctors say he needs to do. I think this has all scared him straight, although I have seen this in the past, just not to this extreme. I hope and pray he keeps to his promises!

He has been nice to everyone, for the most part. Occasionally he lets out a grumpy statement, but I am impressed he has done so well. He has pulled off his oxygen and pulled at his O2 sat probe a few times, but after I reorient him, he calms down. I have warned the nurses that they may be in for it tonight. Hopefully he will just sleep all night!

After all of this cardiac stuff began, I called mom and she started making arrangements to come home. She should arrive around 10:30 tonight and I have a feeling she will come straight here. She is stressing out horribly, and although I understand, I hope she can hold it together once she is here!

Again, I appreciate all of the support! Please do not think we are ignoring phone calls or texts! I appreciate them all. I have just had a hard time responding to all of them and I am sure mom has too.

I will keep the updates coming, and please keep the prayers and thoughts coming!

Thanks again!

Dad - Day 2

Well, Ryan just came and picked the munchkin up, so I figured it would be a good time for an update.

Day 2 has not been much different than Day 1, thus far. I stayed here at the hospital last night until 11ish and then headed home. I was exhausted since I had only a few hours of sleep, so I figured I would go to bed and get up early to come back and chat with the doctor.

My plan didn't work out so well. Delainey woke up at about 7:30 and I put her in bed with me and fell back asleep until 9:30. We made it to the hospital at about 11, which ended up working out because the doctor came in about a half hour after we got here.

Although he is still in a lot of pain, he must have gotten some sleep last night, because he thinks that the same nurse has been taking care of him the whole time. He isn't confused or anything, but he has lost track of time. He has the same day shift nurse back, but last night he had another nurse.

So far his labs have all been normal. No sign of infection at this time. The final cultures will be back tomorrow but so far, so good. His white blood cell count must have been high from stress and maybe his regular medications. The CAT scan was also good. It showed obvious changes due to his COPD/smoking, but we expected that. They also found a few pneumoceles, which are like little cysts/weak bubbles in the lung. Most likely one of these popped and started this whole problem. Having more increases his chances, of course, and the first 6 months is the mostly likely period of having another issue. If it does happen again, they may have to be more invasive.

The only thing dad can do to prevent it is to stop smoking completely. The doctor told him this, but he was sleepy, so I repeated the conversation to him again. I told him that if he kept smoking that this could easily happen again and he said "it's not going to happen again". He wasn't saying it like he was invisible, but more like he wasn't going to let it happen. The doctor had suggested I throw out his cigarettes while he is in the hospital. Well.....you all know dad and I didn't want him to murder me when he got home, so I told him that and asked if he wanted me to and he said no, he will do it when he gets home. I think that he may get more out of it if he does it himself. And if he lights up again, I am sending him to live with one of you!!!!

The doctor also decided to downgrade his status to a step-down status, but will keep him physically in ICU as long as they have the room for him. His vital signs have been much better and they also decreased his chest tube to a less invasive setting (water seal for my nurses). He lasted a few hours, maybe, but then let out a big cough and went into distress. Most likely his lung collapsed again. They had to put him back to suction before they got the xray, so we don't have proof, but everything points to that and he is doing much better now. A little discouraging, but he just isn't ready yet.

They gave him some extra pain medicine during that episode, so at the moment, he is completely out....which is good. He needs to start moving around more, but he is very afraid. The pain is so bad that he thinks he is going to hurt himself more if he coughs, moves, deep breathes... We have explained that he will end up with pneumonia, but he is still scared. I am hoping the new pain medication regime will make him more comfortable and allow him to feel better about moving.

He is also afraid to eat. He said he got congested last night after eating a pop tart, which made him cough, so he is afraid to eat. I tried to explain it was probably the sugar, and a "real" meal will probably been fine. I finally had him convinced and had ordered a tray for him. Of course, this whole thing happened right when the tray arrived, and he didn't eat. I honestly think he may not remember this episode because of the drugs, so I will try again to order him food when he is more awake. If I leave here at a decent hour tonight, I will probably go home and cook up a few things for him, too. He needs his protein to heal, so I will see what I can do. The menu, although good for the rest of us, doesn't have much that appeals to him.

Well, that is pretty much it! As long as things stay calm, I will update again tomorrow. Thank you again for all of the support and well wishes! They mean the world to us! Love you all!

An update on Dad...

Well, I know that some of you have heard, but I know there are many that have not. I just wanted to give you all an update on dad.

As most of you know, dad has pretty much been sick since he and mom arrived in mid-March. He has had no energy, a horrible cough and has generally been feeling pretty bad. He has his good days, but has definitely not been himself.

Mom headed back to California this week for work and will be gone until early next week. While she was gone, the plan was for dad to rest and help Ryan and I with Delainey a few days.

Last night Ryan was supposed to go to a work event and dad was going to watch Delainey while I was at work. Ryan called me and told me that dad was feeling pretty bad so he decided not to go. Dad didn't dispute him, which was my first clue that he was really sick. I had told Ryan that I would "make" (haha....as if that is possible, as those of you who know my dad know) him go to the urgent care when I got off work in the morning.

Unfortunately, at about 1 am, the plans changed. Ryan called me at work and said that dad had come and woke him up (thank goodness he and mom are staying with us) and said that his lungs hurt and he couldn't make the pain go away. Again, for those of you who know dad....he rarely complains of pain and NEVER wants to inconvience anyone. I knew he must be bad. I asked Ryan if he thought dad was well enough for him to drive him to the ER or if he needed an ambulance. Ryan (after talking with dad) said he would bring him in.

Ten minutes later, I got another call from Ryan saying that dad couldn't move and wouldn't be able to walk to the stairs. I told Ryan to call 9-1-1 and try to get them to bring dad to my hospital. When they arrived, they agreed to bring him here and Ryan stayed at home with Delainey.

By the time he had made it to the ER, I was still finishing up loose ends and giving report to my relief. I made it down to the ER and found dad looking pretty yucky. His BP was really low (even lower than the last time he was in the hospital) and he was having a very hard time breathing. He also said he only felt a little better with his right arm in the air, so he sat for the majority of the time with his arm held high above his head. What a sight!

After putting in another IV and doing a quick chest xray, they realized pretty quickly that his right lung was collapsed. They put a tube in his chest to reinflate his lung but unfortuantely had to do it without any sedation since his blood pressure was so low. I am sure that all of you nurse friends out there will agree that chest tubes are one of the most uncomfortable things that we see and I feel horrible that he wasn't able to have sedation. His BP stayed low for quite awhile and the doctor only felt comfortable giving him a few really small doses of pain medication. It didn't help him at all.

At about 7am, they moved dad to the ICU and he was seen by the ICU doctor. He told me that he thinks that a part of dad's lung had been collapsed for awhile, but that last night, the rest collapsed. My theory is that he did it when he was unloading the moving truck back on March 19th. In hindsight, he was complaining about his right side and kept grabbing it as he worked. Once he was in ICU, they were much more liberal with the pain medication (that's one reason I love ICU) and he was able to get some relief.

The doctor ordered a PICC line for him, which is basically a heavy duty, more invasive IV so they could give him stronger medication and a lot of IV fluid fast. I stayed at the hospital until they got it in and then went home to take a nap.

When I came back in the early afternoon, I learned that they had a rough time getting the line in place and that they actually had to replace the line three times before getting it where they wanted it. Although it isn't really painful or anything, it just meant that dad didn't get any rest and wasn't able to be in the positions that make him the most comfortable.

Delainey and Ryan were both able to visit him although he slept through most of it. He was able to eat some french toast and sausage at about 3, and he ate every last bite. A pretty good sign, considering he hasn't eaten in days.

They are giving him some strong pain medicine and it is really making him drowsy. He asked me to get him some pop-tarts and just fell asleep with it in his hand....poor guy!

They are getting ready to take him down to cat scan here shortly, just to get a better picture of things. It was ordered earlier, but he was so uncomfortable that they weren't able to take him.

I imagine that he will be here through the weekend and maybe a few days more. He has a major infection, also, but they haven't been able to find where yet (another reason for the Cat scan).

I have warned him that he will be here for awhile and have explained that they will have to start all over if that tube comes out too soon, so I am hoping that he will try to be patient and understanding. Both he and I have told mom that she should finish her work in California, as there isn't much to do here besides watch him sleep. He does much better with the least amount of visitation, anyways, as mom and I learned (the hard way) on his last hospitalization.

I am so grateful for all of my wonderful coworkers and friends that have been going out of there way to check on dad and I and everyone else who have sent their well wishes and prayers. Please keep them coming, because as he gets his strength back....we will need all the help we can get...LOL!

I will try to keep this blog updated over the next few days to keep you all in the loop!

Thanks again for all of the support!

Love you all!!!!

A sigh of relief...

After 19 long months here in Indiana....I finally feel like I can let out a sigh of relief. My parents are finally here.....FOR GOOD!
On Friday, March 18th, they arrived here with two moving trucks and two wonderful sidekicks! For those who don't know....the 18th was my birthday, so what a wonderful gift it was to have them arrive on that day!
Unfortunately, Friday was one of my regular work nights, so I headed to work like normal and when I got home Saturday morning....off to work we went. Mom, Dad, Eliana and Manse (the sidekicks), Aunt Debbie, Aunt Cheryl, Delainey and I headed to the storage to unload! Though moving is never fun, and dad is a master at keeping everything.....we did pretty good. We settled into a rhythm and unloaded the big truck on Saturday and then crashed. Sunday we emptied the smaller truck and by noon, we were finished. That night we took Eliana and Manse to the famous Bub's burgers and tried to spend a little bit of quality time with them before they left. Unfortunately, it was a very quick...and very tiring, visit for them and early Monday morning they flew back home.
In the few days since then, we have been busy trying to get the house organized and mom has started her job working from home. Dad and I have been exploring some of the houses in the area and I think he is in a hurry to have a place of his own. He has already said that he is bored! Silly man....he can't even enjoy a few weeks off without complaining of boredom.
I think he complained a bit too soon, though, because last night we had a bit of a storm and between the ping pong ball sized hail, storm sirens and calls from the neighbors (THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SARAH!!!), we headed to the basement. All was well here and I think the majority of the storm was just south of use, but that definitely wasn't boring!!!
Now, on the agenda....hopefully a date night or two for Ryan and I...and maybe a little getaway, now that the best babysitters ever are here, a few nights out, a haircut and mani/pedi for me, maybe, oh yeah, and I guess we will find them a place of their own. In the meanwhile, I am going to enjoy them being here and make up for lost time...and let out that sigh of relief!
Now if I can just get the rest of the California family to move this way!!!!

To My Lil' Peanut

There are finger prints on every piece of glass in my house but there is something inside me that aches when I wipe them away.

There are smudges on the walls of my staircase but they always lead me straight to you.

There is pink toothpaste on my white hand towels but to me it is like your little artistic masterpiece on a plain white canvas.

The bathroom sink is never turned completely off and the constant drip is like a symphony you created.

There are tiny toys on my living room floor and the bruises they have left on my feet are like lipstick kisses left behind on a cheek.

There are crumbs of varying sizes under the dining room table sprinkled like fairy dust that you have blessed the house with.

There are tiny little dirty socks strewn on the floor of almost every room upstairs, but even dirty and dingy, they are too cute to fret over.

There is not a spot I call my own, that isn’t invaded by toys, but when I clear them all away, it is nearly impossible to concentrate enough to get anything accomplished.

I rolled over in bed yesterday, only to come face to face with a small blue plastic pony, and somehow it helped me drift back off to sleep more happy and peaceful than I had been before.

My home smells of Strawberry Shortcake dolls, Johnsons and Johnsons shampoo and macaroni and cheese, a scent I wish I could bottle up for the future.

Not a day goes by that I don’t sing a cartoon theme song or speak childish words in an adult conversation and though sometimes embarrassing, it is always heartwarming.

I always start off with a clean uniform for work, but somehow always find little smudges of food on my shoulder from your goodbye hugs. My little good luck charms for my nights away.

Though I don’t quite understand why you must tell me, each and every time I leave, to watch out for turtles, frogs, alligators and killer whales, it will kill me the first time you don’t say it.

It took 5 agonizing days to help you write the names on 23 Valentine’s, and instead of being relieved, I was saddened when it was over.

You haven’t mastered all of the little cliché terms just quite yet, but I love the ones that you have coined yourself, like “inside straight”.

Every temper tantrum, defiant act, misbehaving and trying day is erased each and every night when I see you peacefully sleeping in your little bed.

I spend my days cleaning, cooking, organizing, and maintaining the home and my nights working. Though there is rarely time to sleep, when I finally do get a chance to rest my eyes, I can only think about how much more I want to do for you.

There are days that I beg for 5 minutes of peace, but when the quiet finally comes, it hurts my ears.

Getting you ready to head out of the house is a chore that I dread but I dread even more, the thought of you getting ready on your own.

You are looking forward to marriage and college, but I cannot look past the exact minute that you are standing in front of me telling me about your future.

You are easily amused by a few falling snow flakes, turn signals, commercials, silly straws, cheap plastic trinkets, stickers, balloons and lollipops and I am simply amused by you.

Though I find myself daydreaming about having the time to go out on a date with your daddy...I know that if and when it happens, all we will be thinking about is you and no matter how much time we have, we will rush through our date, just to get home to see you.

I have a ton of little nicknames for you, peanut, pumpernickel, princess, Lainey-bug, sunshine...but no matter what name I call you, none of them can ever convey the love that I have for you.

Although I am sometimes overwhelmed by your "little" attitude, big personality and intelligent beyond your years comments, I am relieved in knowing that you will always be able to hold your own and pray that every once in ahile, I will be able to outwit you!

My Lil' Peanut, you are two weeks away from your 4th birthday. These have been the best four years of my life. I only hope that I can give you as much in your lifetime as you have given me so far in yours! You are my miracle, my gift, my everything and my all! I love you Delainey Rose!

The falling of the leaves...

Three months later, and here I am, still perplexed by the speed at which time has passed. The fall is here and is quickly turning to winter. The leaves have deserted our little tree out front, and we officially turned the heater on last weekend! We had our first snow this past Friday, though it didn't stick on the ground at all. It sure was a beautiful sight as I drove into work! And Delainey insisted on running outside to catch a snowflake on her tongue as soon as the first few flakes began to fall. She is pretty cute, if I do say so!
So far, the natural beauty of Indiana is still amazing me. People here laugh at my excitement for all of the changes that come this way, but I genuinely hope that I never loose this thrill! I love it as the leaves change and start dropping from their branches, leaving golden blankets of leaves everywhere. I find myself in awe when I open the curtains in the mornings and see a sheet of ice crystals across every surface on the frosty mornings. I don't even mind scraping a few of them off my car windshield in the mornings after work. And the snow.....the falling snow made me smile ear to ear and really made me sad that I had to go to work. Not because I wanted to be at home cuddled up, but because I actually just wanted to be outside in it. I must have sat in my car for 20 minutes before heading into work. I sat there until the absolute last possible moment so that I could just watch every last flake fall. And then I took my sweet time on the short walk into the building. I just wanted to make it last as long as possible. Once inside, I took every opportunity that I could to look out the window to check on the snowy status. To my dismay, the snow stopped as quickly as it had started and now I must wait for the next snowy day! Who knows when that will be however, since this first snowy day came almost a full month sooner than last years! I don't wish to be barricaded in by snow, but I just love watching it fall and seeing everything enveloped in it! I know, I know.....you snowy weather regulars think that I am nuts! I will keep my crazy though, if it lets me keep enjoying the snow!
And I suppose I should give other updates, as well, since we do have more than just weather here!The last few months have been packed full of activity. In September, we went apple picking at a local orchard, which was a lot of fun. Did you know that there is such a thing as apple cider slushies....they are fabulous! Of course, I am sure a lot of you know how partial I am to slushies, but I think even non-slushie lovers would agree that they are pretty good! Delainey and her little friend, Abbie were excellent apple pickers and I already cannot wait until next year. Though I think I will go sooner and visit a couple times to get all the varieties of apples they have. They were so fresh and delicious! We also celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary at the end of September. I cannot believe that it has been 7 years since we went to Maui....I think we need to plan a return soon!!! Abbie's mom and dad were going to keep Delainey for us so Ryan and I could actually have a date....but we ended up asking for a rain check. I think we were sharing one of our many colds at the time, but the details escape me at the moment! Delainey also started taking a ballet/tap class in Septemeber. She is loving it! She prefers ballet to tap, but is so adorable either way! Some classes are better than others, since she is such a little social butterfly and is easily distracted, but she seems to fit right in with the rest of the girls! She will be having 2 recitals next year, and I am both excited and nervous to see how she and the other little gals do! Oh, and how could I forget that she got her "big girl bed" in September as well. She looked so big in her crib/toddler bed, so we converted her crib into a full sized bed and now she just gets swallowed up by the shear size of it. Last night when I went to check on her, she was scrunched down under all of the covers and barely looked like a little bump on the bed. Another night when I went to check on her, I really thought she was gone because she has squished between the pillow as much as she could and was so tight against her safety rail, that it just looked like her blanket was bunched up without anyone underneath! She still occasionally asks for her other bed back, but I think that she likes the little changes that we made! That month just flew by!
October raced by just as fast as the months before. And was equally packed with fun, if I do say so! It seemed like it was a bit warmer this year than last, so we were able to do some more outdoor activities than I expected. We spent one day at the zoo with Abbie and her mom, and really enjoyed it! The zoo lost one of the Walruses a few days later, so it was kind of nice that we were able to go when we did! We were also able to go on the Pumpkin train with Abbie and both of her parents, Stephanie and Dave. It is a real train that takes off from our local train museum in town and heads north to a private pumpkin patch. It is a tradition for a lot of people in the area and the girls loved it. The train experience was better than the actual pumpkin patch, since most of the pumpkins were picked over and it was a hot day. But it was still fun! I would love to do it again next year....but maybe a bit earlier in the season. They have a ton of other train trips that I think we will have to plan on, as well! It was pretty neat! Made me miss my Choo-Choo Milt, though! I know that it would have been something that he would have taken me on as a little girl, if we had it near us back in HB. Choo-Choo Milt.....maybe next year you can head out here and take Delainey...lol!Delainey also got to spend a day at her friend Tyler's birthday! You have all heard about Tyler, and Delainey's crush on him is still going pretty strong! She is talking marriage and her daddy and I are trying to get her to just slow down...lol!
And the highlight of the month....a visit from Grammy and Papa! We were able to spend a week with them, which of course was just not long enough! Delainey wore them out....that's for sure! They were able to come to one of Delainey's dance classes and even witness the effects of some straight line winds. Our neighbors big trampoline was picked up and taken two houses down and landed on a fence! I worked my normal shifts while they were here, so I didn't spend as much time with them as I would've liked to. It was a good visit though, and hopefully not to long before they come back for another one!!! They left on Saturday and then Sunday was Halloween. Delainey was Tinkerbell and Abbie was Snow White! They were adorable! They would head up to the houses, get their candy, and then just stand there like they were waiting for more! It was adorable! We only did our street and then we brought the girls inside for some hot cocoa and let them hand out the candy. Our town has set hours for trick or treating so it was a pretty early night! A fun time for Delainey and her little best friend!! Too cute! That is pretty much it for our last few months! Hopefully we will be able to pack as much fun into the rest of 2010! I hope you have enjoyed our update and pictures, as well! Love you all!

The Tierney's

Where has the time gone???

I must have blinked at some point over the last year because the time has just flown by.

I have heard people say that time seems to speed up as we age, and I am finally experiencing it, firsthand.

It was one year ago, now, that we were celebrating Ryan's 30th birthday with some great friends in Vegas. And on that same day I was pacing impatiently waiting to hear how the closing of our house went.

And here we are one full year later. Ryan is now an older, wiser, 31! We have been homeowners for one full year and in two weeks, we will celebrate the one year anniversary of our actual move to Indiana!

The past year has gone better than I expected it to, to be honest! We definitely love it here and I know that we made the right choice in our big move!

There are definitely moments of homesickness....for those we've moved away from, not really for California, itself. It's been hard missing out on birthday and holiday celebrations. I miss lunches and playdates with friends. Ryan misses his partners in crime! We miss the security and comfort of having our families and wonderful friends so close. I miss Wahoo's, Del Taco and Las Barcas. Ryan misses In N Out! There have been one or two days that I thought "this would be a good beach day" or a great afternoon to walk around Fashion Island. I have definitely missed my Target trips with Steph and Delainey is having severe withdrawls from Shae!!! It has been hard being away when our loved ones have been under the weather and was very hard this week to be so far away for the birth of our niece, Makenzie Correne Tierney. It's been rough to watch our friends "virtual pregnancies" since we can't watch those tummies grow in person....or rub the little budha bellies!

We do find comfort in knowing everyone is just a phone call, facebook and Skype away, and I do not know what we would do without technology!

Nothing can replace all of those things and people that we miss from "back home" but we are very fortunate to have gained so much here in our new home!

We have great friends and neighbors, amazing activites and places to go and seasons....4 real seasons!!! Now that we have officially experienced them all, I cannot wait for fall to come and Delainey has already been asking for snow!

It has been a blast making our house our own and although we still aren't close to exactly how we want it, it's ours and it feels like home. By the way, by we....Ryan would say I mean...me! He thinks I have too many projects that I want to do....but oh well....I am having fun!!!

I really cannot believe that it has been a year! One amazing year!