Monday, February 14, 2011

To My Lil' Peanut

There are finger prints on every piece of glass in my house but there is something inside me that aches when I wipe them away.

There are smudges on the walls of my staircase but they always lead me straight to you.

There is pink toothpaste on my white hand towels but to me it is like your little artistic masterpiece on a plain white canvas.

The bathroom sink is never turned completely off and the constant drip is like a symphony you created.

There are tiny toys on my living room floor and the bruises they have left on my feet are like lipstick kisses left behind on a cheek.

There are crumbs of varying sizes under the dining room table sprinkled like fairy dust that you have blessed the house with.

There are tiny little dirty socks strewn on the floor of almost every room upstairs, but even dirty and dingy, they are too cute to fret over.

There is not a spot I call my own, that isn’t invaded by toys, but when I clear them all away, it is nearly impossible to concentrate enough to get anything accomplished.

I rolled over in bed yesterday, only to come face to face with a small blue plastic pony, and somehow it helped me drift back off to sleep more happy and peaceful than I had been before.

My home smells of Strawberry Shortcake dolls, Johnsons and Johnsons shampoo and macaroni and cheese, a scent I wish I could bottle up for the future.

Not a day goes by that I don’t sing a cartoon theme song or speak childish words in an adult conversation and though sometimes embarrassing, it is always heartwarming.

I always start off with a clean uniform for work, but somehow always find little smudges of food on my shoulder from your goodbye hugs. My little good luck charms for my nights away.

Though I don’t quite understand why you must tell me, each and every time I leave, to watch out for turtles, frogs, alligators and killer whales, it will kill me the first time you don’t say it.

It took 5 agonizing days to help you write the names on 23 Valentine’s, and instead of being relieved, I was saddened when it was over.

You haven’t mastered all of the little cliché terms just quite yet, but I love the ones that you have coined yourself, like “inside straight”.

Every temper tantrum, defiant act, misbehaving and trying day is erased each and every night when I see you peacefully sleeping in your little bed.

I spend my days cleaning, cooking, organizing, and maintaining the home and my nights working. Though there is rarely time to sleep, when I finally do get a chance to rest my eyes, I can only think about how much more I want to do for you.

There are days that I beg for 5 minutes of peace, but when the quiet finally comes, it hurts my ears.

Getting you ready to head out of the house is a chore that I dread but I dread even more, the thought of you getting ready on your own.

You are looking forward to marriage and college, but I cannot look past the exact minute that you are standing in front of me telling me about your future.

You are easily amused by a few falling snow flakes, turn signals, commercials, silly straws, cheap plastic trinkets, stickers, balloons and lollipops and I am simply amused by you.

Though I find myself daydreaming about having the time to go out on a date with your daddy...I know that if and when it happens, all we will be thinking about is you and no matter how much time we have, we will rush through our date, just to get home to see you.

I have a ton of little nicknames for you, peanut, pumpernickel, princess, Lainey-bug, sunshine...but no matter what name I call you, none of them can ever convey the love that I have for you.

Although I am sometimes overwhelmed by your "little" attitude, big personality and intelligent beyond your years comments, I am relieved in knowing that you will always be able to hold your own and pray that every once in ahile, I will be able to outwit you!

My Lil' Peanut, you are two weeks away from your 4th birthday. These have been the best four years of my life. I only hope that I can give you as much in your lifetime as you have given me so far in yours! You are my miracle, my gift, my everything and my all! I love you Delainey Rose!